Learning to Stand Up for Myself and Building Self-esteem

As the beginning of the separation unfolded, my former wife complained about me a lot. She focused on any and all negative things and- as I later found out- she was trying to justify her decision to cheat on me and split up our family. I have to admit that I even started to believe her and it hurt my self-esteem hard. She even told the kids that she left because I was a bad partner. It was clear that she took me for granted and never even considered all of the great things I did as a partner. 

As I started to get some of my self-esteem back, I realized that, although some negative things were partially true, most of them were not even remotely true. Eventually, I wrote her an email to address this. The email was not negative in anyway, but just listed all of the ways I was actually a good partner. 

I told her that there were so many great things I did for her that she never even cared about. I listed a bunch of them so she could never deny it: 
I paid for her to go to school for years, 
I helped her with her school work, 
I planned and saved for the family's future, 
I offered to pay off her credit card numerous times, 
I gave her one of my credit cards to use anytime she wanted,
I did all of the yard work by myself for years, 
I fixed things around the house, 
I did all maintenance of the house and appliances, 
I supported her emotionally,

I supported her to do things that made her happy,
I never once told her what to do,  

I listened to her when she asked me to do anything, 
I bought groceries multiple times per week, 
I fixed and maintained the family vehicles,
I cleaned and tidied the house on a daily basis (especially doing things she never did like cleaning walls, windows, mirrors), 

I cleaned up messes she made, 

I scrubbed and cleaned stains on carpets and couches for hours at a time,
I spent time with the kids, 
I helped the kids with issues they had, 
I taught both kids how to ride bikes, 
I taught the kids how to garden and grow food, 
I cooked and often had supper ready for her and the kids when she got home from work. 
The list goes on and on. 

There was never a single thank you or acknowledgement of anything good I ever did. When I cooked supper, she complained that it was not what she wanted. When I took care of the kids on my own, she complained that I took them out to eat too often (which I did once a week at most). Nothing was ever good enough, she always complained. 

Sending this email made me feel better, but I know she likely never read it. This stuff doesn't matter much now, but it was an important part of my healing to know- and stand up for- the fact that I was a very good partner and husband.