The short summary of my situation is that my former partner and best friend of 17 years decided that she wanted to leave and start a new relationship with our neighbor's son. He was living at home, had no responsibility, and is basically a man-child. I think she had a mid-life crisis, but she thinks she has just found true love. They moved out into an apartment together within 2 months of me finding out that she wanted to separate.
When we found out, the children and I were devasted. We cried together while she watched us without emotion. The kids still aren't coping well to this day, and the youngest child refuses to even sleep at their new apartment. I am in the process of recovering from this devastating event and trying to rebuild a new life.
I have been writing this for a few months now. I would like to say it has been therapeutic, but I am not really too sure about that. Sometimes it almost adds to my rumination as it makes me think about the past rather than focusing on other things.
I have been writing this for a few months now. I would like to say it has been therapeutic, but I am not really too sure about that. Sometimes it almost adds to my rumination as it makes me think about the past rather than focusing on other things.
My hope in writing this is that it will help someone else get through the worst time of their life. Even if it is just a little bit. Although I did not write this specifically for men, I have found that there is very little available to help men through the feelings and emotions involved in separation and divorce. This is despite the fact that statistics show as many as 70% of the people who are left in relationships are men.
This blog is a detailed account of what I experienced- the pain, emotions, recovery, and all. No pulled punches. I have found throughout my reading and experience that my story is fairly typical of what someone experiences. I have read everything I could find, and even though I have been in denial about the end of my marriage at times, it is all true.
My first piece of advice is that it is helpful to get used to conflicting feelings and uncertainty. How can you love and hate someone at the same time? How can you want someone back and also never want to see them again? You will find out as you go through your journey.
Finally, I have tried almost every approach to my recovery, and I have been able to find what is helpful and what is not. There are some things, like my top tips, that are very helpful and will hopefully resonate with a few people out there.
Thanks for reading and I wish you all the best in your recovery.