Learning About Myself and Letting Out The Pain of Divorce

One thing I learned today is that I need to let out my pain. Writing, meditating, exercising, anything to get the pain out. If I don't, it starts to build up inside and I can feel myself getting mad or upset. Seems like a simple concept, but it is a very important one. Now that I have realized this, it has made things so much easier for me, and I encourage everyone to reflect on this.

I knew a little bit about this, but didn't realize how important this was until recently. Two weeks ago, I had stopped doing my "work" at letting it out. I did notice quite a bit of difference in my mental well-being. I was just not my normal self at all. I found myself getting angry at my ex and feeling sorry for myself and victimized.

Through talking to people and noticing the positive effect of doing my work, I started to realize what I had to do. I started doing my work again- journaling, writing, letting my pain out- and I started to feel better. It wasn't a quick fix, there was nothing that just flipped a switch in my brain. It was more of a slow improvement as I started to do more of the activities that I needed for myself. I am certainly not back to normal, but better enough that I am starting to have some good days again.

It reminds me of something a counselor said to me once- "Those who feel, heal. When you resist, it persists." I think this is very true, and part of the reason why there are people out there who have not healed at all from the pain of divorce. I don't know about anyone else out there, but I do not want to be a person who is still angry and hurt for years after their divorce. I want to feel what I need to feel and heal as much as possible so I can get on with my life. I can't control what my former wife did, but I can control what I do about it and how I live the rest of my life.

I hope this helps someone else out there!